Dollar for your stupidity

Since I DON’T get a dollar for every time someone asks me the same questions and then proceeds to debate the merits of their misguided preconceived notions I wrote a list of stupid statements and questions I wish I got paid to answer. Warning: If ranting offends get off the internet.

What foods will make me lose weight?

Are you serious? Do you think a food is going to get in there and suck out the fat cells like liposuction? No food will do this!

I can’t lift weights because I will get to ‘Big’

I wish I got a dollar every time I heard this! If it was that easy to get ‘Big’ why are gyms full of twenty something males busting out endless sets of bicep curls in the squat rack and consuming thousands of dollars worth of supplements?

If you compete in a sport where strength is required but size is a concern consider a low rep high weight program (such as west side) Put simply research suggest low reps aid strength without promoting muscle growth.

What supplements will make me lose weight?

I am sure one of the supplement Nazis will come in now and make some outlandish statement with no scientific proof. If there is a supplement out there that vacuum cleans fat cells out I am pretty sure it’s on the WADA/ASADA/AMA banned substance list.

What is the best protein supplement?

Last time I checked protein is protein. It comes in different amino structures but that’s it. How much steak and chicken did you eat before asking me this question?

What pre work out supplement should I take?

Start with a subtractive process, stop drinking the night before training and get eight hours sleep. That might help your training energy levels.

How can I lose fat off my ‘Part X’?

Another dollar a day question, why are you focused on isolation of one area? Last time I checked Squats, Bench, Tire flips and sprints etc were not focused on one muscle….

- My gym does not have a tire: Ask why or go find one that does…..

What Cardio machine is best for losing weight?

I don’t know, What machine works with your body and raisers your heart rate above that of sofa sports?

I want to make muscle X bigger (Normally chest or arms) what exercises should I do?

Here is a small chart:

Biceps – Squat

Back – Squat

Legs – Squat

See a running theme here? Put a bar on the back of your shoulders, bend your knees and squat

- I have perfect squat technique, my ass touches the floor.

- I have trained with power lifters who squat 300 and still work on technique so yours is not perfect, further there is a lot more to squatting than just making depth.

- Squatting is bad for your knees:

- By the very nature of this statement you have proved you have no right to an opinion. If you squat like you’re tee bagging someone then what do you expect

Does pharmacy based diet X work?

Yeah it sure does, those unsustainable meal replacements really satisfy. The sales staff three day training course really addresses your dietary needs. I look forward to seeing you reach your goal weight through muscle atrophy and then revert right back to your old school ways of eating….