I
hate girls; they’re stupid and smell funny.
Ok;
maybe I need to elaborate on that statement a bit. I have been single for a
while now; five years to be precise. In that time girls have caused more stress
in my life than Andrew Bolt at a Labor conference. So, at the start of my first
uni semester this year, I made a judgment call; I would not allow myself to be
distracted by girls until after Uni and the Nationals were complete. The end
result was a distinction grade point average, 20kg added to my total, I was leaner,
faster and my overall stress levels were significantly decreased.
 |
| Julia Rohde needs to be in my life! |
About
a month ago I signed up at a commercial gym, this
place has 30 treadmills, 20 plasmas, 10 mirrors and 1 squat rack, really in the
grand scheme of shit; I would rather train with Julia Gillard. But I joined for two reasons; first it is close
to my house and secondly it is notorious for overflowing with hot girls. While
checking out the talent on offer I have made one rather interesting
observation; the girls have got shit well under control. As I warmed up the
other day one girl was standing next to me doing overhead squats, I have even
been made to wait for the squat rack while a girl nailed out a few sets backed up with Burpee’s and other times I have seen girls smashing out HIIT
circuits with Kettle Bells. On the whole it seems the message is getting
across.
Needless
to say in the commercial environment these things are never perfect; but most of
the girls are squatting with better technique than the guys (who probably don’t
squat at all) I often see girls to scared to start a Deadlift from the floor,
but hell at least they’re lifting something, and the best part of all; the
girls lifting are always the best looking ones on the gym floor.
So
congratulations ladies; it seems the point has made it across; chances are
you’re stronger, faster, leaner and having more fun than most of the guys out there, keep at it
and you never know, I might let you sleep with me.
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