Daylight savings starts this
weekend, which typically denotes the start of festival training season. If you
have never stepped foot inside a gym before then please read on; here is my top five tips for gym n00bies
Number 5: Don't be a afraid
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| Sally Fitzgibbons |
When you first walk in to
the gym, you will be greeted by a bunch of insanely good looking girls wearing
pants that would not pass as G-strings and painted on shirts with lame motivational
statements plastered across their chest. Walk further and you will find a guy
with denim shorts and his nipples on display for all to see grunting like he is
laying underneath Sally Fitzgibbons spread legs while performing some kind of
circus stunt with dumbbells. Much like an aggressive driver on the road; don’t
be intimidated by this, you pay the same membership; you have the same rights,
if these said people stare at you, stare back. While you’re out of your comfort
zone you should use this chance to develop your own self-worth.
Number 4: Be aware of Bro-Science
Bro-Science is the study of meat
heads in your gym where results are reported on the outcomes of one person, in
one circumstance asking one question. Bro-Science is pretty easy to pick, it is
often spread by a guy wearing a stringer singlet and supplement store hat on
backwards who uses the word 'bro' in every sentence. This is often coupled with
statements like “Fuck science” and “Do you even lift....Bro....”
Not only is Bro-Science often –wrong-
but in some cases it can be downright dangerous to your health. Such examples
include speculation about diets, supplements and various exercises in the gym. As I will go in to later; you don’t need to be
inert in reading scientific papers, just use some common sense, you wouldn’t trust Tony Abbott on
running an economy so why would you trust
the meat heads in your gym?
Number 3: Quality, not quantity
You
will undoubtedly assume that if you’re not spending a hour on the treadmill or
two hours ‘pumping iron’ that results will not come. I bring you back to a metaphor
the fitness industry has held for a long time now; do you want to look like a
sprinter or a marathon runner? Sprint for 30 seconds, walk for a minute, sprint
again until you’re stuffed, again, you don’t need your head around scientific
articles to understand this.
Number 2: KISS... Keep It Simple
Stupid!
From the moment you walk in to the
gym you will be accosted by personal trainers offering you the latest exercise
ideal for targeting your biceps or abdominals, you will have that big guy Joey
tell you about his crazy calf training program and that’s before a fat woman
begins to speak about diet tips for the lazy. Don’t get lured in by the shiny
machines your gym manager told you were the greatest thing since Viagra, stand
back and you might observed the ugliest people in the gym are sweating all over
them. Humans have performed exercise in some way or another long before these
things were marketed to the meat market culture that is commercial fitness.
Have a think about basic exercises you can perform; push-ups, chin-ups, Squats,
Jumps, skipping, running. If that’s not enough, then do moar push-ups....
Number 1: Squat, like you did when
you were a baby.
Squats are the most fundamental coordination pattern humans
have (sometimes referred to as gross motor patterns). Squats develop joint flexibility,
stability; they protect us from injury and various joint pains and are used in
every aspect of life. The more your squat, the more all your other training
will improve. Ignore the naysayers of over-training and squat every day if you
like, Squats will make you strong!
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| Good Luck <3 |
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